Funny Gifts for College Bound Students

College isn't all fun and games. There's a lot of work and a lot of stress, what with all the newfound responsibility. On top of that, you're not allowed to leave for most of the year. In a lot of ways it's like a really pleasant, barely supervised labor camp. In short, there are a lot of things a college student can use help with, from homesickness to life advice, from school supplies to basic safety and hygiene. Mercifully, you no longer have to guess what they want. They want this stuff right here.

Truthfully, a college cookbook could be a mere three lines long: 1) boil water, 2) add noodles, 3) stir in shrimp flavor packet. Lucky for the soon-to-be debt-laden youth of America, the authors of this book went several steps further, compiling a collection of recipes that are easy, delicious, and cheap — while also hitting all of the main requirements of human nutrition, so even a broke English major doesn't have to worry about ailments like the dreaded "Freshman scurvy."

Going to college means getting up and motivated for early morning classes, often after a late night of doing what college is really about - homework, right? It's easy for students to forget to set an alarm, or to select PM instead of AM before passing out, from all that learning. A smart alarm clock can be programmed ahead of time to match their class schedule. On Monday it knows to go off at 7 in the morning, but on Tuesday it lets them sleep it off till 10.

The years spent in college are the ones where teenagers turn into young adults and are ready to take on the world. Even so, it's not uncommon for them to miss their own little corner of the globe from time-to-time. Make their dorm room a home away from home with a candle that will remind them of their roots. It's the perfect way to cure homesickness.

This high-tech notebook combines the best of cutting-edge technology and old fashioned pen and paper. Send notes directly to the cloud using the Rocketbook smartphone app, and erase the notebook for reuse up to five times using a microwave. For real. Now if you could only microwave away your long history of embarrassing Instagram posts.

Celebrate their roots with one of these insanely comfortable t-shirts to remind them where they're from. A great antidote to homesickness and scratchy-clothing syndrome. And if someone should find them drunk and unresponsive on the front lawn, they'll know approximately where to send them.

As with many things in life, sometimes it's best to leave it up to the experts. Especially when those experts are willing to put in all of the work creating unbeatable care packages on a monthly basis. With these subscription plans, you get to choose how many monthly packages you want to send, and for which months. A surefire way to delight their addled little brains in between all that painful studying and learning.

Here is a compilation of tips, tricks, hints and advice for the college bound student. For example, did you know that instead of taking a shower and cleaning up their dorm room they can spread dry tea bags around to absorb the odor? Or instead of keeping their shoes off the coffee table they can use oil and vinegar to get the scratches out. There are lots of useful ideas in here that can help one navigate through these challenging years of academics and hygiene.

Studies show that short naps can significantly improve mental performance. Here is their very own plush, portable head enclosure, so no matter where they are, they can take a nap so peaceful they'll be angry that they woke up. Angry and smart as hell.

We can't emphasize this enough: you ride the motorized cooler full of drinks to the party, you drink its contents, and then you WALK it back home. Nobody wants to be the guy on the news who got arrested for drunk driving an empty cooler. So stay safe.

Time to do some studying before you arrive on campus. Get some sage advice on how to avoid the most common pitfalls of college freshmanhood, from someone who's been there and done that. They'll sit back and laugh at their classmates as their lives unravel.

God, do we even have to explain this one? It's unlikely you remember a single house party from your college days where something or someone did not end up aflame. Or maybe you didn't go to a state school. But it's always better safe than sorry. Even more, better safe than on fire.

This compact keyboard pairs with a smartphone or tablet via Bluetooth and folds in half for easy portability. Small enough to take along in a coat pocket or purse, the keyboard is ideal for composing lengthy e-mails or word documents that would become tiresome using a device's tiny onscreen keyboard. The 50 keys are arrayed in the familiar QWERTY layout for comfortable typing and the keyboard charges via USB.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to learn from the best in the world? This is the idea behind MasterClass. A wide range of courses designed and taught by some of the most famous, renowned, and respected luminaries in fields as diverse as cooking, guitar playing, negotiation (hostage or otherwise), fiction writing, film making, and gardening, just to name a few. You can give a single class as a gift or a subscription for all of them.

One thing about living with a roommate for the first time in college is that, typically speaking, your lives are both a mess. This leads to the problem of confusing your stuff for theirs, among other things. The best way to avoid this problem? Have stuff that looks nothing like anyone else's. A laser cut wooden notebook is a great start. The beautiful and intricate designs are like an anti-accidental theft device. Much more effective than yelling, "Put that down, that's mine!"

Insulting others using common language makes one a contemptible character, a low rascal. But casting insults using the verbiage and expressions of literary masters elevates one to a rare level of nobility. Unfortunately, not everyone possesses the linguistic chops to construct their own highbrow verbal slights, and that's where this handy chart comes in. Conveniently arranged in visual form for easy reference, it's the perfect guide for someone who would like to be revered (instead of despised) for their nastiness.

Winner of a CES (Consumer Electronics Show) Innovation Award, this sticky note printer lets you create custom reminders. It connects to a device via Bluetooth and uses a free iOS/Android app to provide you with 120 design templates, enabling you to create a custom message as well as print notes containing photos from your smartphone's gallery. Ideal for creating personal memos, printing mini to-do lists, or crafting grocery reminders, it generates 203 dpi notes in seconds and without toner via black and white direct thermal printing. The printer can also connect to a PC with an included USB cable. Includes one note cartridge that prints 200 white 3" sticky notes.

Wouldn't those eggs look better with their gorgeous face next to them? Any photograph can be converted into a template that will burn their beautiful mug right into every piece of bread that goes in the toaster. Fret no more, narcissism doesn't have to wait until after breakfast.

The dual computer screen is one of today's uber-nerd status symbols. Let the investment bankers have their Rolls Royces and the pimps their gold plated canes. The pinnacle of luxury living for a gamer is a super high resolution dual screen, so they can engage in some next level merkage (gamer slang). But it's not just for video game junkies. Plenty of professionals have sworn off the single screen setup for good, pledging their allegiance to the gods of multi-tasking.

Show your appreciation and love symbolically and financially at the same time. What lasts longer in a college student's dorm room/apartment: a dozen roses, or a dozen wads of cash? We're betting on the former, but now you can find out.

The only problem with an oven is that it's so much bigger than a pizza. Nobody knows why. This rotating pizza oven is compact and has separately-controlled, programmable bottom and top heating elements so your pizza comes out perfect every time. Fast, efficient, energy-saving, and delicious.

Since nobody seems to be interested enough to invent an ever-lasting battery, it looks like we're all stuck charging our phones every day for the foreseeable future. But before you throw you hands up in disgust and ask how it could possibly get worse, there is some good news. The same lazy, inconsiderate tech "geniuses" who refuse to make forever batteries have at least found the decency to create a little pad that charges smartphones without having to plug them in. And really, it's the least they could do.

Ping pong is an activity that virtually anyone can get into. Along with "sports" like curling, mini golf, and shooting cans off of fence posts, it's a game of physical skill that requires absolutely no meaningful athletic ability. That makes it a game of the people, if you will. And the best part about this kit is that it's portable, as the name implies, and extremely fast to set up. Just supply the tabletop. If they could use a little dose of competitive fire, this might do the trick.

Rugged, non-slip, waterproof, and shockproof, this rock-solid external hard drive will keep their data safe no matter how hopelessly clumsy or reckless they are. USB 2.0 and 3.0 compatible and built like a tank. The coordination-challenged student's best friend.

The perfect portable self-defense device/sock-under-the-bed finder. If they had these in horror movies, everyone would still be alive. Compact and heavy-duty, this stun gun flashlight will fit right in their purse or sit comfortably on their nightstand for when their roommate sneaks in to steal their favorite shirt again.

This giant bean bag is big enough for two, but it's so comfortable they may not want to share it. Study in luxury or take a long nap between exams. Either way, we promise they'll find a use for this that they soon can't live without. But beware: just like their last questionable relationship, people have been known to disappear into these for months.

In the cramped environs of a college dorm or campus apartment, every piece of furniture, every appliance, and every personal belonging must be carefully considered. This mini toaster oven, with its small footprint and ability to make a wide range of delicious foods like pizza, toast, bagels, paninis, and cookies (just to name a few) is a definite keeper. And being as bread-based foods are great at slowing the absorption of both caffeine (saving their developing adrenal glands from overload and chronic fatigue) and alcohol (saving precious liver and brain cells), this contraption can be considered both a food appliance and a medical device. A fine choice indeed.

When you send your kids off to college, you try not to think about all the bad things that can happen on a given day with nobody responsible to look after them. Contusions, scrapes, broken bones, burns, gouges, dislocations, etc. Anyway, it's not your problem anymore. Ship them off with a clean conscience.

There's plenty of things that a Prime membership is useful for, getting their much-needed textbooks to them as quickly as possible being one of them. It also comes with a comprehensive streaming service full of their favorite films and some of the best boxsets around but we're sure they won't use it for that, just the textbooks, honest.

For many wide-eyed young adults, the future looks ripe with opportunity as they imagine the glorious journey they'll have while turning all their dreams into realities. Of course we know, most of those dreams will not materialize and many enthusiastic attempts at success will end in miserable failure. As this enlightening book explains, this seemingly endless floundering is actually the typical path towards real prosperity. Most of the important lessons in life are learned through mistakes and failures, lessons that culminate at some point (even if through sheer brute force and stubborn determination) in eventual success.

For years we've been using tracking devices to follow the comings and goings of our pets, children, enemies, and myriad suspicious characters who pass through our neighborhoods. It's about time that we re-apply the tools of our paranoia to everyday objects. This small tracker can be affixed to any of your valuable possessions (including yourself if you so desire), allowing those objects to be quickly and easily located using the associated mobile app. Sure, it won't help you find your moral compass or your purpose in life, but it will help you find the TV remote.

This white noise machine makes sleeping in even the most raucous frat house a breeze. Compact and fully adjustable, it will drown out the sound of their roommates playing beer pong, dancing, yelling, or doing whatever fun activity they have decided to forego out of a sense of responsibility to their future.

Technology may be shockingly smart these days, but unfortunately your computer is still too dumb to stand up when you do. Though on that note, when it does become smart enough to stand up with you, you should probably run. On second thought, once the machines are that smart it's already too late. Just sit back down and wait for the computer to tell you what to do next. If you don't make any abrupt movements, it might spare you. In the meantime, buy this adjustable standing desk for someone you care about so they don't ruin their posture.

A long time ago, in the distant past, kids used to put baseball cards in the spokes of their wheels to turn their bikes into motorcycles. We've come a long way since then. Now, we modify our bikes to actually make them self-powered, not just sound like it. The GeoOrbital Wheel is super easy to install - just remove the front wheel of your bike and hook this thing up in its place, and the next thing you know, you're leaving the other bikes in your dust.

Ergonomics are everything, especially for the desk jockeys who spend 50% or more of their waking hours parked in front of a keyboard. Though the office workers of the world may not be able to halt the slow disintegration of their bodies, they can at least protect their delicate wrists and fingers from overuse injuries. For these are the instruments with which they run the economy. Buy one of these laptop risers for an office worker you know who gets the cold sweats when they hear the phrase "carpal tunnel."

Mark Manson seriously doesn't give a f*ck, and he wants you to not give a f*ck too. Despite its (not so subtle) title, this book isn't about not caring. It's about not caring about the things that don't matter so you can give your energy to the things that do. Straightforward, contrarian, and positively life-changing.

They've survived this far living outside the bubble, but why push their luck? Give them this insanely fun inflatable bubble ball, and hope they're inside it the next time they do something indescribably stupid. A great way to insulate themselves against life's hard uncertainties.

Remember what life was like before the internet? When a peeping tom had to grab his binoculars and hide in the bushes or climb up a tree to get a good look into your private life? Now any aspiring voyeur doesn't even need to be fit enough to leave the couch — much less climb the 30-foot elm in your front yard. All they need to do is find a digital backdoor to your webcam. Which means the creep game is now open to a whole new league of players. This is how you keep them off your field.

If you're going to do something, do it the right way. That goes for buying a knife too. The last thing you want is to be in a life and death situation and have to say, "If only I had a fine-toothed miniature saw and I knew what time it was." This pocket knife has you covered on both fronts. The only way we could imagine this knife being more loaded is if they added a miniature cannon or gave it time travel capabilities. The perfect gift for the survivalist who likes that extra layer of security against that "what-ifs".

Good luck convincing them this isn't an acid flashback. This remote-controlled fish will be a welcome break from conventional pets that need feeding and only stay in the air for a few seconds. Holds enough helium to turn any house party into a chipmunk colony.

They will make lots of friends in college, and some of them will be grimy as hell. Their roommates' friends will be even worse. And their roommates will possibly be worse still. This handheld vacuum not only leaves everything it touches spotless, it eliminates most of the things you don't want to catch while sitting on the couch or walking across the bathroom floor.

We all get sick of real life from time to time, and that extends to the things we put in our mouths. These tablets, made from the West African miracle berry, alter taste perception by turning sour flavors to sweet. Drink a bottle of lemon juice like it's Kool-Aid, or eat a lime like it's a strawberry. Guaranteed to confuse, worry, and astound everyone you know.

The Nintendo Switch combines the best of at-home entertainment with on-the-go gaming. Nintendo has always been at the forefront of portable gaming, going all the way back to the original Game Boy. But portability in gaming isn't everything. Sure, it's great for torturously long rides in the back of the minivan, but nobody wants to sit on the couch and play video games on a tiny portable device while there's a ginormous flatscreen TV six feet away. The Switch's dual capabilities solve this problem for good, going from handheld device to living-room gaming system in the blink of an eye.

It's no longer reasonable to allow your writing utensils to do single duty. These days, a pen that does nothing but write is a child's toy. Actually, it's even worse than that, because kids know better than to write by hand, what with all the voice recognition apps they have within arms reach at all times. That means pens are functionally useless. Let that sink in a minute. But not this pen, because it's also several other things that can help the user accomplish something important. This is no gimmick. It's a revolutionary tool, and the world will never be the same.

A "just good enough" chair may seem…well…good enough. But nothing could be further from the truth, at least as far as your skeleton is concerned. And just because someone is not yet at the stage of the biological cycle where their skeleton is visible doesn't mean they should ignore it. An ergonomically designed chair by the ergonomic design OGs is exactly what the doctor ordered for an ailing office worker. Actually, the doctor didn't order it. That's why you need to.

Science has finally proven that you are in fact better off viewing the world through rose-colored glasses. Or, if not rose-colored, at least blue-blocking. These glasses work hard to prevent blue light from reaching the wearer's tender brain cells, where it wreaks all manner of chemical and neurological havoc. Shielding the eyes from the harmful effects of blue light from computers, televisions, and the like is known to provide calming, sleep-enhancing, and mood-boosting benefits, among others.

Keeping practical supplies in the car in case of emergency is something we all should do – yet many people out there on the road haven't added so much as a band-aid to their car's inventory. That's right, in the event of a blizzard, those store receipts and empty fast food bags won't save you. Shocking, we know. This Auto Survival Kit on the other hand…

A mountain of textbooks to be read and plenty of essays to be written would leave anyone in need of a good dose of caffeine. Four years' worth of reading and writing makes coffee just about as essential as a pen and paper. Good thing your favorite college student has you on hand to provide them with this essential piece of equipment.

Make sure that they're never caught short (of battery, at least) with this pocket-sized power pack that is perfect for their portable devices. This charger harnesses the power of the biggest battery in our solar system so they should never have an excuse for not returning your call.

Modular furniture is worth its weight in gold for anyone who lives in a small space. Also, playing around with configurable stuff like this is fun because it's sort of like experiencing your childhood dream of living in a Lego world. Except this is better because you won't accidentally swallow it and end up in the emergency room. The easy lock-and-unlock design, corner-friendly configurability, and variety of storage options make it perfect for any desk slave who needs to declutter their work area while keeping the various tools of the trade close at hand.

Great art doesn't always take the form you're expecting. Twitter gives everyone with a phone and an opinion to spare the chance to reach millions of people with a single ill-conceived utterance. With all that verbal garbage coursing through the airwaves, bizarre gems are certain to arise. Lest they drift away and go to waste, someone had the brilliant idea to start framing them. Move over Picasso, it's time to make room for the real modern art.

You'd be surprised what passes for research these days. A show like Game of Thrones can replace the hours a student would have had to spend poring over Machiavelli's The Prince and the Kama Sutra. Come to think of it, they might not teach those books in college. Whatever. Learning is learning.

Some college students suffer from a rare disorder in which their chemistry and history text books fail to put them to sleep. In that case, they should be read in the glow of this NASA designed light bulb, which filters out blue light to help stimulate production of melatonin. Help them re-establish a healthy reaction to learning.

If you know a college student with a creative streak, they're bound to enjoy this present. This gift subscription will give them access to Adobe's best professional tools so that they can create some stunning digital art, websites, music, and more - whether in their spare time or as part of their course. Or they'll be making a lot of memes…we think they'll love it either way.

Long gone are the days when a backpack is merely something to carry your textbooks in, if you have to carry your books at all. Modern backpacks are packed with the latest in mobile technology for students who are always on the move. Like a built-in wireless hard drive, which is brilliant for anyone who wants to cross campus without hauling heavy books around with them.

Packs of four chewable gummies, each with the caffeine potency of half a cup of coffee. Perfect for all the times when it isn't practical to brew up a pot or there isn't a Starbucks within 20 feet. The only real alternative to becoming a speed freak.

College is probably the first time that they've lived away from home and something that they can never be too prepared for. This little book of instructions will give them all the advice they need to survive four years at their academic institution and come out the other side ready and raring to take on the world.

Escape the stressors of the real world by venturing into the virtual land of, well, whatever some demented programmer came up with. Virtual reality applications are expanding all the time into areas no one ever thought of, and pretty soon everyone is going to want one of these. Help a college student you know get on the VR train first.

A safety net for the mechanically impaired, AAA is a one-of-a-kind grease monkey support network that can be relied upon to rescue them at any time of day or night. Because deep down inside, you know that for every happy ending, there's a 1990 Camaro on the side of the road somewhere with a skeleton in the front seat.

Keep your head and face warm without the commitment (or testosterone) it takes to grow an actual beard! These knit beanies with detachable face fur are as funny as they are functional. From biker to barbarian, Viking to vagabond, there is a Beard Head for every taste and style.

Some people need visual feedback in order to understand their progress. With these right and left brain bookends, they can literally watch as their mind expands with each book added to the shelf. Of course, they still have to read them to absorb the knowledge. Let's hope you don't have to explain that.

Nothing adds a bit of natural flair to an outdoor party better than a large piece of fruit that gets you drunk. Just hollow out a watermelon, insert the tap, and fill it up with your favorite beverage. Let them show off their inner DIY in the coolest way possible.

The last thing they need is more stuff, and at the end of it all it's really the experiences that they will cherish the most. Help them create some new memories to look back on by finding a fun activity to do locally. Be adventurous and choose something they've near done before. It's a gift that will enrich their life and yours too.

The ultimate guide to what they should have learned already, with a title that communicates what you can't bring yourself to say out loud. The world may be a nicer place than the one you grew up in, but it still can't help punishing dumbasses. Help them get it together.

It has been prophesied that the apocalypse will not come via comet or nuclear war, it will come when the world's caffeine sources dry up. But that's not for another 15 or 20 years. Until then, it should be approached with a complete lack of self-control. Give them a leg up with a buzz you should need a prescription for.

Help alleviate their fear of the unknown by bombarding them with all the sordid details upfront. Bestselling syndicated advice columnist Harlan Cohen will hold their proverbial hand as they navigate the choppy waters of college freshmanhood. Prepare them for their first adventure living away from home so they can take the weird in stride.

Finally, you can write freehand on your computer without ruining the screen. This combination bluetooth pen/receiver captures your silly little doodles and saves them as digital files. Save your notes without having to type them into a word processor.

You have to admit: after a spaceship, this really is the mother of all gifts. And unlike the spaceship, they'll know how to use a laptop. From paper writing to research to visual design, a laptop is an indispensable piece of equipment that will get constant use. If they don't give you a sincere, wholehearted thank you for this, you have strict permission to never talk to them again.

In the age of AI and computer automation, we need to resist the machines any way we can. This is a great way to start — with a hand-cranked portable washing machine. The manual washing machine is a perfect statement of self-sufficiency and independence, and it's a wonderful way to recruit someone you know into the resistance. It also allows the user to get the laundry done while on the road, while camping far away from electricity, or even during a hypothetical apocalypse. All in all, it's a necessary tool in today's world. The revolution starts here.

They won't always have time to jump in the car and drive to the beach, so bring the beach to their desktop. They're way too old now to play in the neighborhood sandbox without starting rumors, so let them relive their childhood in privacy.

Just because they've joined the respectable world doesn't mean they have to leave their backyard college party days behind. These reusable red cups are made of high-quality melamine — a durable plastic compound that looks, feels and performs remarkably like conventional dinnerware materials such as porcelain. These cups, available in a variety of shapes and sizes, bridge the aesthetic gap between high-class living and low-rent debauchery. The perfect gift for that special someone who appreciates the frathouse-chic lifestyle.

These are the hottest headphones on the market for a reason. Sturdy and versatile with a strong, tight low-end sound, they perform well with anything, but really shine when playing modern music. If you ever thought college students were hard to get through to, you should see them when they've got these stuck to their skulls.

Bean bags aren't just for kids anymore. And even if they were, everyone knows Millennials have no intention of growing up. A bean bag chair is the perfect midway point: it feels just like what they want to sit on, but it's shaped sort of like the furniture old people use.

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Source: https://thingamagift.com/gifts-for-college-students/

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